Every day is brand new.
I have been having a real problem the past few months getting motivated to do nearly anything. It is not that I do not want to do anything either. I just cannot seem to find the motivation to actually follow through with anything. Part of the problem stems from the fact that I have had a few things occur in my life that have made it difficult to follow through with everything that I want to do, but a lot of it, I know, is simply a choice. I have felt weighed down by past failures and my own short comings and it has made me feel poorly about myself. Self loathing is never a good thing. So I am going to stop.
I am making a vow right now to begin a new. I had two other possible posts prepared for what I wanted to write tonight but I felt this was more important to say. Every day is brand new and I am going to start over. I am tired of feeling disappointed in myself when I do not follow through with things and I am tired of the disappointment making me hesitant to start anything else due to fear of future short comings or failures. This is my life and I have to be the one who lives it. No one else can do it for me.
Paulo Coelho said in The Alchemist, “People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.” I firmly believe that with all that I am, and from now on I am going to make that my personal manifesto. I may fail again in the future but it will not be from lack of trying, and if I do fail, I will pick myself up and continue tenaciously never giving up. I have given it a lot of thought recently and I have come to realize that our dreams are the things that we really and truly want to do. It is our egos that put the conditions on the dreams. Everyone starts in a different place and each person has a different path to the dream. You cannot say you want to walk a path without actually walking that path. If the end result is all you are after then it is just your ego talking. Our dreams are actual journeys, not destinations.
This does not mean that it will be easy for me to do everything I dream of doing, though. I will be quite honest: I do not have the money or resources just because I decided that I am going to start doing these things. I have to make it happen through my actions and positive thoughts and behavior. There are many ways to get to where you want to go and it is up to me to find the way towards my dreams. There is a motivational statement that I really like: if it is important enough you will find a way, if it is not you will find an excuse. So what do I want to do? That is a big list. I want to continue to volunteer in Haiti and at the homeless shelters in Louisville, KY, where I live. I want to travel, domestically and internationally. I want to learn about wine. I want to climb mountains and hike long trails.
One of the things I really want to do right now is walk the Camino de Santiago, a nearly 500 mile pilgrimage route across Northern Spain that has been used for well over a thousand years. I have decided to walk the Camino de Santiago this coming August. I am not Catholic, but I have always wanted to see European cathedrals, and I am in love with the Spanish language and culture. The walk will take approximately five weeks. It will be a wonderful, life changing event, and the first of many great adventures.
People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of. – Paulo Coelho
Update: I never got to take this trip, due to some personal issues, but I still plan to. – 10/25/2015